© 2005 Jen LeMaire

Stuck between wandering dreams of reality

and nightmare notions of what IS,

I contemplate who I want to be.

Do I spend my life chasing hopeless glimpses

And fleeting clues into the warscape of my brain

Or do I find a way to drift away

and end my fascination with eternity once and for all?

Al last I believe that my children and husband

Can make it and find happiness without me

I need to know if this is a delusion or reality.

I’m no longer afraid to die—

I am afraid to leave behind those I love.

I suppose it all comes down to choices.

Do I choose to love through the pain of it all?

Or do I slit my throat at the mountain pass

And pass peacefully—if a bit painfully—into the night?

@>~~