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It's Not Where You Start Out (10/17)
by Kelly Frieders
raykel2@cox.net
Genre: Drama, B/S
Rating: PG-13, nothing you wouldn't see on the show
Disclaimer: Spike's not mine. Wish he were, but my husband might object. Buffy
and all the rest aren't mine, either. I'm just borrowing them from Joss Whedon
and Mutant Enemy for a while.
Summary: Post "The Gift." Way post "The Gift," actually. Takes place sometime
the following year. There's some new interest in the Key and an old enemy is
back in town. Spoilers for everything up to and including "The Gift."
----------
10.
Buffy walked at a much more leisurely pace to Willow's this time, enjoying the
bit of solitude as she tried to sort out the bizarre turn her life had taken in
just a few short hours. As promised, the Ekorie demons had shown up about a half
hour after Spike had called Willy. They turned out to be huge, hideous, fearsome
looking things with bulbous heads and large teeth and looked a lot like a
smaller version of that big slimy monster Luke Skywalker fought in the beginning
of Return of the Jedi. They didn't speak, but understood English well enough and
got to work as soon as Spike told them what to do. Spike then offered to stick
around while they took care of the monks and their henchmen so that she could
get to Willow's and get Dawn. He'd even, wonder of wonders, volunteered to clean
up what he could so that Dawn wouldn't have to come home to a wrecked house. He
couldn't do anything about the window in Dawn's room, of course, so Dawn would
have to sleep in Buffy's room, but other than that he promised to get the house
looking homey again. Buffy suspected that his offer was partly a genuine desire
for Dawn to be able to come home to a house that didn't look like a frat party
had just taken place, along with a large part excuse to hang around the house until she got back. Not that she minded. She kinda wanted him
be there too. And that scared the hell out of her.
She shook her head as she walked, trying to make sense of everything that had
happened. She had gone home fully intending to kill him -- twice tonight,
actually -- and ended up telling him she was in love with him. When exactly did
that happen?
She wasn't even sure, really. She knew she'd been denying it for a long time.
Her conversation with Willow in the cemetery was a testament to that. And the
reasons to deny it were plentiful. What she'd told him about Angel was a large
part of it, but not all of it. There was also the whole vampire thing, a place
she was *not* anxious to go again. I mean really, in the whole history of the
world there's been all of two vampires who've gotten over the whole evil thing,
and she just happen to fall in love with both of them? What are the odds of
that? Even if you did happen to be the Slayer, thereby running into more than
your average number of vampires on a regular basis. And as it had been
pointed out to her about a million times before when she was with Angel, Slayers
are supposed to *kill* vampires, not date them. So what exactly did it say about
here that she fell in love with them instead? GAAAH!
And that didn't even begin to cover the major weirdness factor. He wasn't just a
vampire, he was, well, Spike. She'd really and truly hated him once. Not like
Angelus, which had been personal. Spike she'd just plain despised. He was vain,
arrogant, self-centered, and an all around pain in the ass. They fought
constantly, although come to think of it, that was actually a part of the
appeal. And there was the whole Angel history. Not Buffy-and-Angel history;
Spike-and-Angel history. Sired by Drusilla, who in turn had been sired by Angel,
in that weird vampire sense of family Spike was sort of Angel's grandson,
although in practice it was more like his annoying kid brother. He really *had*
spent all his life, his unlife anyway, in Angel's shadow. Everything Spike had
ever done, Angel had done it first and that included the two very improbable
situations of actually becoming good and falling in love with a slayer--the
*same* slayer. Add Drusilla into the mix, another woman Angel had had a
relationship with before Spike came along, and well, it was just one major freak
fest.
On the other hand, despite all the similarities of circumstance the two couldn't
be more different in personality. Angel was quiet and broody, constantly
agonizing over the past and what he'd done. Spike rarely gave the past a thought
and never brooded. He did have wild mood swings, however, and could go from
chipper and sarcastic to enraged and violent, to sweet and almost shy, all in
the space of about thirty seconds. Where Angel was stoic, Spike was given to
drama. Where Angel liked the shadows, Spike wanted the limelight.
Actually, that last difference was the one thing that gave her some hope that
maybe a relationship with Spike wasn't *totally* insane. When she'd first
started falling in love with Angel, he was dark and mysterious and she knew
*nothing* about him. At all. It wasn't until their first kiss that she'd even
discovered he was a vampire--and what a shock that was, to see him go into vamp
face just after she'd kissed him! At every turn in their relationship it seemed
she was uncovering more and more unpleasant facts about his past, all
culminating in the Ultimate in Really Bad Surprises: his loss of soul after
they'd slept together. After they'd broken up and he'd left Sunnydale, she'd
gone the total opposite route in Riley, forgoing dark and mysterious for simple,
open, and *normal*-- or so she'd thought. Riley had had secrets of his own and
in the end her "normal" guy went off the deep end and started paying vampires to
feed off him. Even her brief post-Riley attempt at dating again led her to
someone with another big ass secret: Ben, who's body just happened to be hosting
the Glory Show.
Spike was the total opposite of them all. She hadn't been joking earlier when
she'd told him "Hey, I'm evil, come slay me" basically summed up their entire
pre-chip relationship. The first time she met Spike, he told her he was going to
kill her. Simple, direct, and to the point. He hated her, she hated him, end of
story. No misdirections, no hidden past, no secrets. She knew a good deal of the
horrible things he'd done--many of them had been done to her or her friends,
actually--and that was all laid bare long before she ever even liked him, let
alone started falling for him . So long as he kept his word not to feed again,
and after what she saw tonight Buffy trusted him on that count, it was unlikely
that there were any huge horrifying surprises waiting to be sprung on her. On
the contrary, the only things that have ever deeply shocked Buffy about Spike
were his first truce with her against Angel, that he'd fallen in love with her,
and that he would sacrifice himself to protect Dawn. Angel's big secret was that
he could lose his soul. Spike's was that he loved her.
Buffy reached the UC Sunnydale campus and turned towards Willow and
Tara's dorm. When she'd called Willow she'd ask her to call Xander and
Anya for her, to get them all together to fill them in on what had
happened, so it was with no small amount of trepidation that she
approached her destination. As she'd told Spike, she had to tell them
about the chip. It wasn't fair to keep them in the dark about that.
This alone was enough to make her very nervous--no doubt they would
react much the same way she did and assume the worst. But how much
should she tell them beyond that? That she and Spike had kissed?
Several times? That she'd told him she loved him? That they were--what
were they, anyway? Dating? Lovers? Not yet, of course, but things
certainly seemed headed in that direction. Buffy hugged herself. It
was enough to weird *her* out--how much more would it her friends?
//Spike is my boyfriend,// she thought to herself, trying the phrase on
for size, and it didn't fit at all, feeling awkward and alien instead.
When she'd told him earlier that she'd fallen in love with him, she'd
had to force herself to say it, not because it wasn't true, but because
after months and months of denial it wasn't a concept she could easily
embrace. So how could she then expect her friends to accept it? Was
she even ready to admit to others what she could barely admit to
herself?
She sighed as she reached Willow and Tara's building and pulled open the
front door, still not having reached a decision. She'd just have to
wing it.
When she got to the room, everyone was there as Willow had promised.
They were sitting in a rough circle, Willow and Tara on the bed, Dawn in
the corner in the basket-chair thing, Xander in the chair from Willow's
desk, hand resting casually on Anya's shoulder as sat on the floor in
front of him leaning back against his legs. Dawn jumped up when Buffy
entered and the Slayer gave her sister a quick hug and told her briefly
that she thought the monks weren't likely to try anything real soon. Dawn then retreated to her chair in the corner and Buffy stood
uncomfortably before them, half sitting half leaning against Tara's
desk.
"So what happened with the monks?" Xander asked, starting the
conversation rolling. "Dawn says she got jumped in her room. How did
*that* happen?"
Buffy looked down, ashamed. Her complete preoccupation with Spike and
his lack-of-chipness had distracted her to the point where she'd not
protected her sister. That more than any other mistake she'd made
tonight was inexcusable.
"I got sidetracked by something else that came up. It won't happen
again," she said looking at Dawn. "I'm really sorry Dawn."
"Geez," Dawn said shrugging, "you were right out front. It's not like
you abandoned me or anything."
Buffy half smiled, accepting that as forgiveness, the forged ahead.
"Brother Ondrih and his two buddies showed up with a whole army of
henchmen. They tried to grab Dawn, but we stopped them and I think
Brother Ondrih got enough of a scare to at least give him pause. Not
that he won't try again. In fact, I think he showed tonight he's
willing to take some pretty big risks to get what he wants."
"He's still alive then?" Anya asked.
Buffy nodded. "We let him go," she said carefully, not ready to give
details on this part of the story quite yet. "But he's been warned. I
think he knows we'll do whatever it takes to protect Dawn."
She let that sink in, then re-emphasized the precautions they needed to
take. They all nodded methodically, Dawn not even protesting at Buffy's
re-emphasizing that she needed to be accompanied wherever she went,
including to school and back. With that out of the way, Buffy got up
and started pacing.
"There's something else you guys need to know," she said, twisting her
hands together nervously, "and I need you to hear me out before you get
all wiggy."
"Wiggy? There's something more wiggy than the monks breaking into your
house?" Willow asked nervously.
Swallowing hard, Buffy plunged in head first. "Spike's chip has been
deactivated."
She paused to give that a chance to sink in, acutely aware of the
tension in the silence.
"Are you sure?" Willow asked, eyes wide.
Buffy nodded. "He fought humans tonight."
"How did he do it?" Tara asked.
"Ethan Rayne." This got a reaction from Xander and Willow. Buffy
continued, "He deactivated it with a spell. The monks paid that rat
Willy to send me after Ethan and when I found him he showed me a
videotape of the ritual."
"Okay, so we have insane monks, a de-chipped Spike *and* Ethan Rayne on
our hands?" Xander said. "This is quite the banner week."
"Who's Ethan Rayne?" Tara asked.
"Kinda Giles' arch-enemy," Willow explained. "He likes to show up every
now and then to cause trouble."
"I'll go find Ethan Rayne tomorrow. He's not our big problem right
now," Buffy told them.
"We have to kill him," Xander said.
"As much pleasure as that thought brings me, we can't kill a human in
cold blood," Buffy said regretfully.
"Not Ethan," Xander corrected, "Spike. We have to kill Spike."
"NO!" Dawn shouted, rising from her seat. "He did this to help me!
There is no way--" she stopped short, then stared at Buffy, eyes wide as
it clicked into place. "Oh my god, you were fighting." She shook her
head slowly. "You did *not* stake him Buffy. Tell me you didn't go
back there to stake him."
"Is that why you wanted a stake when you went back?" Willow asked
softly.
Dawn turned to Willow, horrified, then back to Buffy, her eyes hard and
accusing. Buffy almost flinched, but she knew she had to face this head
on so she returned Dawn's gaze evenly. "I did go back to kill him,
yes," she said at last.
"No--" Dawn moaned, but Buffy held up her hand cutting her off.
"I didn't do it, though."
Dawn practically melted in relief. "Oh thank god," she murmured, but
then Xander jumped up, nearly knocking Anya over in the process.
"But you're gonna, right?"
Buffy turned to face him, but Dawn intercepted. "No way, Xander! He
saved my life!"
"But he can *kill* people now, Dawn!"
"Doesn't mean he *will,*" she countered.
"He's a vampire, of course he will! It's what they *do.*"
"I can't believe--"
"WOULD YOU TWO SHUT UP AND LET BUFFY TALK!"
That was Willow. The room fell completely silent as everyone stared at
her. She looked from Xander to Dawn and back. "She asked us to hear
her out but you two haven't let her say two words. Let her explain!"
Xander and Dawn scowled at each other but didn't say another word.
Willow turned back to Buffy. "Go ahead," she said softly.
Buffy smiled at her gratefully, then turned to Xander. "I'm not going
to kill him, no."
Again Dawn sighed in relief, but Xander glared at Buffy stonily,
incensed. "Why not? Because you're in love with him?"
At Xander's words Buffy was certain the air had been completely sucked
right out of the room. Every eye in the room was fixed on her, waiting
for her response.
//LIE!// a voice screamed inside her, and oh how she wanted to! She'd
been denying it for so long it was like second nature. Buffy's gaze
swept across the room then landed on Xander, who was still staring her
down. Determined, she set her jaw.
"Yes, I am."
Tension upped a notch and Xander turned away, furious.
"But that's not why I'm not going to kill him."
"Yeah right. Been there done that, Buffy."
"Xander, let her talk," Willow interjected.
Disgusted, Xander flopped back onto the desk chair and looked off to the
side, unwilling to even look at Buffy.
She took a breath. Fine. This wasn't unexpected, right? "When I found
out the chip was useless I was going to kill him." Dawn gave her a
withering look, but Buffy ignored her. "He was alone with Dawn at the
time, so I ran home, told Dawn to go upstairs, and we went out front and
we fought."
"Slayer-fought or argue-fought?" Willow asked.
"Both, actually. I had every intention of staking him, but then we
heard Dawn scream and that's when the monks and their goons showed up.
We fought them, I got Dawn away from Brother Ondrih and pushed him out
her bedroom window, we ran for Willow's, then I went back to stake
Spike."
"Even though he'd just helped you save my life," Dawn challenged.
"That's great."
"Dawn, it didn't matter. All I could think of is what happened with
Angel, how much he hated me when he lost his soul. I thought it was the
same thing."
"It *is* the same thing," Xander asserted.
"Actually, as it turns out, it isn't," Buffy shot back. "But I knew I
had to stop him from feeding. So I went back home and found him out
back, about to bite Brother Ondrih."
"And that would be bad because?" Dawn snapped.
"That would be bad because of what feeding will do to him, Dawn. You
have to understand, he's a vampire. Blood, living blood from humans, it
effects them. It isn't just what they eat to survive, it's what they
crave, it's what makes them what they are. There is no way he can feed,
even off of someone who so richly deserves it, without being changed.
He wouldn't be the person we love anymore. He wouldn't care about us
anymore."
"Okay, so you saved Brother Ondrih from becoming a bedtime snack. Still
not getting the you not staking Spike part," Xander cut in impatiently.
"That's just it, I *didn't* save Brother Ondrih. Spike did. He
couldn't do it. He pushed him away, made some threats about what he'd
do if he ever came near Dawn again, then let him go."
Xander considered this a moment. "Big deal, so he knows how to impress
you."
"It *is* a big deal, Xander, and he didn't do it to impress me. He
didn't even know I was there."
"Yeah right."
Buffy threw her hands up, exasperated. "Could you *be* any more
sanctimonious? You weren't *there,* Xander. He didn't see me. He
didn't feed because he knew what it would do to him and he didn't want
to go back there." Xander was unmoved, so Buffy turned to the others.
"He was *shaking,*" she said. "He wanted the blood, needed it, even,
because that's what he is, but still he *chose* not to because that's
*who* he is. And he had blood on his hand from the fight and he
wouldn't even eat *that.* I'm sorry, but I don't have it in me to kill
someone who has earned my trust the hard way. The past two years have
to count for something."
"So you can *guarantee* he'll never kill anyone?"
"I can't guarantee *any* person who isn't me will never kill anyone, so
I think that's a little unreasonable."
"Unreasonable? I'm sorry, but I think the previous hundred and twenty
years of murder and mayhem pretty much trump the last two not-quite-so-evil years. You're the *Slayer,* Buffy, it's kind of your *job* to
protect the innocent from vampires."
"So to protect the innocent I'm supposed to unilaterally decide that
despite everything Spike has done to prove himself, despite the fact
that without any guidance or help from anyone he rose above his nature
and changed out of *choice,* despite all that, he doesn't deserve a
chance because *other* vampires are evil? Racist much?"
"Vampires aren't a *race,* they're evil demons!"
"You shot pool in the Bronze with this particular 'evil demon' just last
week," Buffy reminded him. "He's living in your fiancée's store! How
is he suddenly different now then he was two hours ago?"
"Because he can kill people!"
"So can I! But I *don't,* which is kind of the important thing."
"Well that's just *great,*" Xander exploded, jumping up again. "What is
*with* you and vampires? Did you learn *nothing* from Angel? We have
to go through this *again,* all the evil and the angst and the DEATH?
Because you get your rocks off on vampires?"
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Buffy shouted. "I do *not* have to take this from
you!"
Willow leapt up from the bed. "Guys, c'mon, we're all friends here.
This isn't getting us anywhere."
"I'm sorry, Will," Xander said, still looking at Buffy, "but I'm not
really interested in dying over her love life!"
At this, Dawn jumped into the fray. "Oh please, you should talk! Look
who you're engaged to!"
Again there was a moment of tense silence. Buffy opened her mouth to
scold Dawn, but it was too late, Xander already turned on her sister.
"Don't you EVER--"
"Xander, she's right," Anya cut him off.
Xander stopped dead in his tracks and looked down at Anya, gaping.
"What?" he asked in disbelief.
"I said, she's right," Anya repeated. She was still sitting on the
floor beside the desk chair Xander had abandoned, hugging her knees
uncomfortably.
"No, she isn't," Xander insisted.
"Yes she is. I mean I've been sitting here listening to everything
you've said and it all pretty much applies to me," Anya said looking up
at him. "Except instead of a hundred and twenty years of murder and
mayhem it was more like a thousand."
Buffy regarded her with surprise. She had never expected support from
Anya, of all people.
Xander apparently hadn't either; he looked somewhat stunned. "Anya,
what are you talking about? You're nothing like Spike."
"How are we so different then? Other than the fact that you don't have
sex with Spike, I mean."
"Uh, the fact that you're human?"
"So, I'm human. *Now.* I used to be a vengeance demon."
"But you're not anymore. Spike is *still* a vampire and now he's a
vampire who can kill. That is totally different from you."
Anya frowned. "So what you're saying is that I'm okay because I'm
physically prevented from doing the vengeance demon thing anymore, just
like Spike was okay when he was chipped and physically prevented from
hurting people. Because you can 'guarantee' I won't kill anyone."
"Right," Xander nodded.
"So then you don't trust me."
"Righ--huh?"
She shifted, letting go of her knees and crossing her legs. "You don't
trust me," she repeated.
"How did we get to 'I don't trust you'?" Xander asked, bewildered.
"You accept my past, you love me, because you think you can *guarantee*
I won't kill someone. That's not the same as *trusting* me not to kill
someone. And the thing is, you're wrong. Just because I'm human
doesn't mean I can't kill people. Plenty of evil humans in the world,
and I say that from a thousand years of experience dealing with some
pretty scary humans. I know how to use a stupid knife."
"Anya, I can't believe we're even having this conversation. Of course I
trust you! You know that! It's *Spike* I don't trust."
"I still don't see the difference," she said plaintively. "I mean,
don't get me wrong, I don't really care one way or the other whether
Buffy stakes Spike or has wild monkey sex with him--"
"Okay, no one said *anything* about wild monkey sex!" Buffy interjected,
horrified.
Anya didn't skip a beat. "Other than the fact that he's kinda handy to
have around the store and he *is* cute and somewhat muscley and --"
"Your point, Ahn?" Xander redirected her.
"My point is what does it say about *us?* You want everything to be
black and white. Good guys over here, bad guys over there. You're
forgetting that *I'm* not black and white. I've done some pretty evil
things in the past thousand years, which according to you 'pretty much
trumps' the couple of not-so-evil years since I've been human."
Xander knelt down next to her to be at eye level with her, then took her
hands. "Anya, you're not evil," he insisted.
"And you know this because?"
"Because I know *you.* You're funny and a little strange, but you're
not evil. What you did before doesn't--" He stopped short, realizing.
Buffy crossed her arms and smiled, impressed with Anya. "It doesn't
matter," she finished for him, "because it's how she is *now* that's
important. That's why you trust her. That's why you love her."
"Fine," Xander relented, not happy. "Fine, we give Spike a chance." He
looked up at Buffy over his shoulder. "But what happens if you're
wrong? What if he does feed?"
"Then I stake him."
"No!" Dawn protested.
"Dawn," Buffy said turning to face her sister, "he's right on that one.
Even Spike knows it. There are no second chances here. If he starts
feeding again it's over."
"But he won't," Dawn said grumpily, hands on her hips.
"No, I don't think he will either or I wouldn't be here defending him,"
Buffy replied. She sighed, facing all of them. "So are you all okay
with this?"
Willow and Tara nodded slowly and Dawn smiled enthusiastically.
"Where is he now?" Xander asked, obviously not completely satisfied.
"Why, so you can stake him yourself?" Buffy shot back, suspiciously.
"No. I'm not crazy about him staying at the Magic Box though."
"But *I* like him there," Anya replied. "He does help and we haven't
had any break-ins since he's been living there." Buffy bit her tongue
at that one. "Now he can even scare away humans who might try and take
my money. He can stay," she said firmly, looking at Xander, not Buffy.
"He's at my place now anyway," Buffy told them, then blushed at the
raised eyebrows she got from Dawn and Willow. "I mean, he got some
demons to cart off the monks' henchmen and he wants to see if Dawn's
okay and stop looking at me like that Willow!"
"Me?" her friend said innocently. "I'm not looking at you. No looking
here!"
Buffy turned back to Anya in an attempt to redirect the conversation.
"I'll tell him he's still welcome at the Magic Box, Anya. Thanks."
Dawn suddenly stretched and gave an exaggerated yawn. "Boy, am I tired.
We should get home now, Buffy," she said. Buffy rolled her eyes, but
everyone else started getting up. Xander rose, then helped pull Anya to
her feet. Buffy walked over to them.
"Willow's right, Xander. We don't have to agree, but I need you, 'kay?
Don't be too mad at me."
He nodded, then smiled wanly and she embraced him tightly and after a
moment's hesitation he hugged her back.
"Besides, who am I gonna get to fix the window in Dawn's room if you're
not speaking to me?"
"Gaaaah, you shameless wench, making nice just to get manual labor out
of me." He gave her a quick squeeze then said "I'll be by when I get
off work tomorrow."
"And Anya, thanks again," Buffy said when she released Xander.
"No problem," Anya said brightly. "Just remember, we're registered at
Macy's. Crystal would be nice."
"Macy's," Buffy repeated. "You got it." She turned to Dawn. "C'mon,
Dawn lets get home." They all walked to the door together and Willow
pulled Buffy aside.
"I want quality best friend time tomorrow," Willow said insistently.
Buffy regarded her warily. "Juicy-details friend time or Lecture friend
time?"
Willow paused. "Maybe a little of both," she said. She gave Buffy a
quick hug before Dawn grabbed Buffy's arm and dragged her out of the
room.
"Call me tomorrow," Buffy called out as they headed down the hallway.
"Right after my morning class," Willow called back before Buffy and Dawn
reached the end of the hall and left the building.
----------
Dawn could barely contain herself by the time it took to get outside
Willow's dorm building. When they were finally outside, she pounced on
Buffy. "I can't believe you're in love with Spike! That is *so* cool!
You have to tell me everything!"
Buffy sighed. "There's nothing to tell, Dawn. It's all so *weird.* I
don't even know how this happened."
"Oh PLEASE, it is *so* obvious you have a thing for him. I just thought
you'd keep denying it to yourself, like, forever."
"Because it's *weird,*" Buffy repeated. "And there was the whole chip
thing and what would happen if he ever got it out."
"I can't believe you thought he'd get all evil again," Dawn scolded.
Buffy stopped her, her face going all stern again. "Listen Dawn, this
is serious. You don't remember what happened with Angel because we kept
a lot of that from you." Of course Dawn knew she hadn't really
*existed* when Buffy had been dating Angel, but they had long ago
stopped treating their memories as if they were any less real than they
*felt.* "It was really bad," Buffy continued. "And there was no way of
knowing until Spike was really tested how he would react once the chip
wasn't there to stop him from hurting people. Now we know that at least
he really does *want* to stay like he is now. But you have to believe
me when I say this feeding thing is huge. Not only would it mean
someone *died,* but I really don't think if he did it once he could stop
himself from doing it again, and I don't think he thinks so either. It
was scary, tonight, Dawn. He almost gave in."
"But he didn't," Dawn insisted brightly. "And now you two are in love
and it is so *cool!*"
Buffy rolled her eyes, then continued walking. "It isn't cool, Dawn."
She stopped. "Well, maybe it is, a little," she admitted, a little
flushed. "But it's weird and pretty scary too. It's very complicated."
"Because he's a vampire?"
"Yes... and for lots of other reasons too." She sighed. "You're too
young, you wouldn't understand."
"Too young!" Dawn shouted indignantly. "Hello, I'm *fifteen!* Almost
sixteen! You were fifteen when you became the Slayer, right? And you
were sixteen when you started dating Angel."
Buffy stopped again. "You're right," she said, looking at Dawn. "I'm
sorry."
"Okay," Dawn said huffily. They started walking again.
"But I *was* young when I was with Angel," Buffy said a little
wistfully. "I didn't get how complicated it was and there was a *lot* I
didn't know about him. A lot he didn't even know about himself."
"So now you're old and wise and things can be better with Spike," Dawn
said doggedly. Buffy could be such a pessimist sometimes. I mean, this
was *Spike.* Was there anyone cooler than him? And he was so good to
both of them. Okay, she knew he'd been pretty bad at one time, but he
wasn't now.
Buffy smiled. "Maybe," she said hopefully. "But it also means I get
that love doesn't conquer all, you know? It's weird and it's very
complicated. I don't know what's gonna happen. I don't even know what
I *want* to happen."
"Did you kiss him?"
"Dawn!"
"What? It's a legitimate question. Remember, fifteen, I understand
about kissing and --" she leaned forward and finished in a overly
dramatic stage whisper, "S-E-X."
"Okay, Dawn, I get it, you're not a kid. Yes, I kissed him."
"Was it good?"
She smiled. "I didn't hate it."
Dawn beamed broadly and raised her eyebrows in satisfaction. "I knew
it! You have to give me every detail!"
"No!"
"Buffy!"
"It's not 'cause you're a kid, Dawn. Remember, 'weird' and
'complicated?'"
"Fine," Dawn said grumpily. "I just hope I'm not this big a baby when I
get *old,*" she said, with an exaggerated emphasis on "old."
"You keep bugging me and you won't live to *get* old," Buffy snipped
back good-naturedly.
"I'm *so* scared." Dawn picked up her pace. "C'mon let's hurry home.
I can't wait to see you two together!" She then dashed off ahead of
Buffy at a good clip, truly happy for the first time in days.
NEXT
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